2006, Sorenson Video 3, 8.5 minutes, 42.4 megabytes
A mash-up of Public Domain ephemeral films, telling us how meat can help us be attractive, sanitary, and heterosexual, and why girls who park in cars will give you The Syphilis. Apparently, you can tell if your date has a venereal disease by her unflattering hairdo and mercurial expressions. Special thanks to the Prelinger Archives, the best resource for all of your crazy retro media needs!
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2006, MPEG-4, 12 minutes, 52.67 megabytes
Another mash-up of Public Domain ephemeral films. Details the best approach to the Heterosexual teen dating ritual and the dangerous, predatory behavior of the wild Homosexual. Obviously, the only solution for a boy like Susan Jane is to throw himself off of a cliff ... because, after all, NO ONE CAN HELP YOU if you are struggling with such confusing feelings and such bad hair.
Once again, extra special thanks to the Prelinger Archives, the best educational video resource website EVER.
NOTE: This video requires the latest Quicktime 7.0 plug-in for your browser. If you're not seeing this content, please download (or update) the FREE Player here at www.quicktime.com.
This streaming video may take A LONG TIME to download, especially on a slow connection, so you may want to let the stream catch up a bit before beginning playback.